From Shielding to Allowing a Teachable Moment

 I had a completely different message on my heart that I had been drafting, but I’ll save that for another time. This is brand new territory for me...posting about anything remotely political or tied to current events. 

Today, I made a brief comment on a LinkedIn post. That little comment began to gain traction, and yet it only held the bones of my thoughts. So here, I’m adding a little more skin.

When the news of Charlie Kirk’s assassination filled TV and social media, my first thought was not about politics or debate, it was my children. What impact would this have on them now, and the future they are inheriting? My immediate instinct was to shield. I reached out to other adults in their lives and asked that the girls be left out of any dialogue concerning current events.

At the time, I couldn’t see a valid lesson to be learned in the middle of chaos, opinions, and uncertainty. If I’m honest, I didn’t trust what narrative might be presented to them when I hadn’t even processed it myself. So I stayed firm in that stance—shielding.

Over the last week, I've made small, almost unnoticeable adjustments. I realized that as much as I wanted to protect, I also needed to prepare. I was already raising Christ followers, but I felt a stronger call to emphasize two things:

• 1 Peter 3:15- in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect

• Ephesians 6:12- For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

As a family, I also put a moratorium on secular music for the rest of September, a decision in conjunction with some personal things in our home that needed a reset. Worship has become our soundtrack. Surprisingly, and also not surprisingly, Shiloh beat me to the punch: “Mom, I am fasting from secular music, electronics, and sugar for the next week.” Her choice opened the door for laughter and joy as we made up Christian renditions of children’s songs and even some pop tunes, sung in a new light.

Jocelyn is my fact-finder. She always needs the “why” behind every ask, with linear reasoning that makes sense. And she’s learning that not everything in this world will have an answer that satisfies logic.

Selah, with her empathy and spiritual sensitivity, feels things at a depth I cannot comprehend. Maybe it was lazy parenting on my part to try and keep her out of the loop instead of engaging her where she is. But even so, she continues to show me that her heart perceives far more than I imagine.

And then, Erika Kirk changed my perspective.

Yesterday, I listened to Erika Kirk's words in their entirety, and then, after some consideration, I sat the girls down to play it back for them.

Many studies suggest that emotion contributes to memory and learning. It’s one of the reasons homeschooling can be so effective. I knew replaying Erika’s message would stir individual emotions and reactions, but I also knew the lessons would stick.

A Side Note on Context

I am raising my daughters to date with marriage in mind. I know that’s not necessarily a popular stance—even in Christian circles. But for us, dating is not about butterflies or just hanging out. It’s about discerning whether someone could truly be a partner in purpose.

It's not about a certain dating age, but their readiness. My girls don’t need to marry the first person they date, but they do need to evaluate that person as a potential spouse. If they know the relationship cannot lead to marriage, they have been equipped with the wisdom and courage to end it. 

Lessons That Took Root

I didn’t tell the girls what they were “supposed” to gather from Erika’s remarks. I let them listen. And of course, there were plenty of emotions behind their questions and comments. But in their own way, each recognized the points I’ve been trying to make in conversations along the way:

• Marriage is purposeful. It’s not just about companionship—it’s about calling. A husband and wife are meant to walk toward a God-given purpose (fruit). That purpose lasts beyond the aim of "happily ever after." The story of Elisabeth and Jim Elliot comes to mind--how their legacy of faith and sacrifice lived on even after tragedy. (This doesn't have to play out for the public, it can have family and generational impact.) 

• Alignment matters.  It brings peace, purpose, and growth. Without it, confusion can take root and the sanctifying work of becoming more Christ-like through challenge and forgiveness is hindered.

• Roles have value. There is a God-given role for both husband and wife. My girls already know if they desire a purposeful, growth-oriented, Christ-led man, they need to be cultivating those same qualities within themselves. 

• Grit and Grace  What it looks like to lean on conviction, courage, and the Holy Spirt instead of fear. 

• Forgiveness   Erika’s words about forgiveness needed no elaboration. It reached our core and left an imprint I know will last.

(Side note: Erika pointing out their "secret" for staying connected: love notes. 💗)

Lasting Impact

In the end, Erika’s message did what I could not: it gave my daughters a real-time example of truth I’ve been quietly weaving into conversations. They felt it, not just heard it.

And that is what changed me, from shielding to allowing. Allowing emotion. Allowing tension. Allowing memory to form around truth. And most of all, allowing God to do what only He can do: turn the tragic into a signal for hope, calling, and forgiveness. 

Psalm 42:11

I just overheard Selah and JoJo playing an imaginary game. And what did Selah want her name to be in the game? Erika.