During the 2018 Christmas Season, I found myself immersed in the book of Jeremiah. Not exactly festive reading. Yet in the chaos of that season, one piercing question rose above the rest:
Are you willing to fail for Jesus?
I couldn't shake it. Jeremiah had poured his life into
warning a people who refused to listen. He didn’t keep Jerusalem from falling. And
yet, he remained faithful.
At the time, I had convinced myself that failure was not an
option. But God was preparing me for a different kind of success—one not
measured by outcomes, but obedience. Enter 2019: a year of spiritual whiplash.
I was asked to do things that felt odd, uncomfortable, even foolish. When I
resisted, the consequences were real. But once I surrendered, something
shifted. The so-called failures became fertile soil for God to work in me...the
growing pains were real and also fruitful. And if I want to add some extra
dramatic wording...the entire trajectory of my life changed.
Last year, Eugene Peterson’s Run With the Horses started
showing up everywhere. A quote here, a mention there. I took the hint and
bought the book. And I was blown away by this completely different perspective
of Jeremiah. The subtitle was The Quest for Life At It's Best!
Then I discovered Peterson had also written on Galatians,
so I added that to my ever-growing, slightly chaotic reading pile. But here’s
the kicker: I can’t quote from either of them now. Why? Because all my books
are packed away.
I packed them in faith.
Every box is a declaration that this season of waiting will
one day become a season of moving.
Waiting can feel like wilderness.
It’s that in-between place where you’re no longer who you
were, but not yet where you’re going. It's uncomfortable, uncertain, and
presently it feels like falling behind while everyone else is running ahead.
This week Jeremiah 12:5 popped into my head while reading
something completely different, and I thought to myself that's an interesting
correlation. I will have to come back to that later. But instead, I was challenged
to dig in…now. The verse is God’s
response to Jeremiah’s honest complaint: Why do the wicked seem to thrive? Why
does it feel like those who do wrong are rewarded while those who try to walk
faithfully struggle? Those weren't exactly my complaints, but I was definitely
playing old tapes in my head, and blaming more than I was believing.
And instead of soothing or explaining, God responded with a
challenge:
If you're worn out by foot races, how will you run with
horses?
At first glance, it doesn’t seem comforting at all.
In a season where everything feels slow or stagnant, I’ve
often asked, “What’s the point of this? Why does it feel like I’m
circling the same mountain?”
But what if the waiting isn’t punishment?
What if it’s preparation?
There are horses ahead. And in God’s mercy, He isn’t
sending me to run with them until I’ve learned endurance on the ground. The
waiting is a strengthening season, not a stuck one.
When I'm waiting, I often want answers. But sometimes, God
gives alignment instead. Which is another word that keeps coming up in my
writing. He’s teaching me to trust Him when I don’t have clarity, to obey
without full visibility, and to rest when everything in me wants to strive. I am
not a rookie at this. And, yet, I am still hesitant.
And as I dug into this verse and it's unwelcomed timing, I
was reminded of the things that Jeremiah did that made zero sense.
Jeremiah purchased a field in Anathoth. It was absurd,
really. Who buys real estate in a land being overtaken?
But God told him to do it—and Jeremiah obeyed.
This act wasn’t about land. It was about hope.
It was a physical declaration:
“Houses and fields and vineyards shall again be bought in
this land.” (Jeremiah 32:15)
(Jeremiah
29):
To those already taken to Babylon, Jeremiah sent a message:
“Build houses and live in them; plant gardens… take wives
and have sons and daughters… seek the welfare of the city.” (Jeremiah
29:5–7)
It was not the message they expected. They wanted rescue.
What they received was a call to root down in exile, trusting that
God’s plans were still unfolding—even in a foreign land.
There are seasons when hope seems irrational, and the
future feels far off. And yet, God might ask me to buy a field anyway.
To pack my books.
To trust that the moving season will come.
To build a life (and a business) in the waiting.
Jeremiah 12:5 goes on to say:
“And if in a safe land you are so trusting, what will you
do in the thicket of the Jordan?”
As 2024 ended, I found myself standing in a foggy "to
be continued." More questions than answers. More starts than finishes. And
2025 hasn’t exactly cleared things up—it’s been one hurry up and wait moment
after another. Just when I think I’m about to step forward, the pace slows
again.
And yet—I'm safe.
There’s provision, enough for today. There’s no crisis. No
fire. No flood. Just... limbo. But even in this quiet place, God is exposing
something in me:
You say you trust Me. But can you trust Me in the slow? In
the silent? In the still?
It’s easier to run when adrenaline kicks in. It’s easier to
believe when the stakes are visible. But what about when everything looks fine
on the outside, and yet my soul feels shaky?
That’s when God has every right to ask about my stamina.
If I grow faint in the “safe land,” what will I do when the
real thicket comes?
____________________________________________________________________
There have been days I didn’t want to look at my texts,
answer the phone, or leave my house—because of the dreaded questions I couldn’t
answer.
“What’s next?”
“Any updates?”
“Still waiting?”
Questions that exposed the uncomfortable tension between my
belief in God's direction and the apparent lack of visible fruit. I said I was
following His lead—and I was—but the outcomes haven’t matched the faith steps
(yet). And I’ve wondered: How many more “I don’t knows” do I have in
me?
But something has shifted recently.
I’ve discovered I’m not the only one in this waiting
season. In fact, the more willing I am to answer honestly, the more others open
up about their quiet battles—their dance with fear
and faith.
I’m not trying to prove I can run with horses.
But I do want to be ready—
ready to respond when God says move,
ready to recognize His hand even when the path feels hidden,
ready to remember that every season of waiting has always led somewhere meaningful.
And while I wait, I’m learning to let go of the need to explain.
To be at peace with “I don’t know.”
To let my authenticity speak louder than outcomes.
To sit in the tension without rushing the story.
Because I believe one day—maybe soon, maybe not—I’ll look back on this season
and see that it wasn’t a holding pattern.
It was holy ground.
The kind that doesn’t draw a crowd,
but draws me closer to the One who called me here in the first place.
